The New Yorker has an opinion piece wondering how anyone could still be undecided in the American election, which uses a wonderful analogy to point out the bleeding obvious.

Then you’ll see this man or woman— someone, I always think, who looks very happy to be on TV. “Well, Charlie,” they say, “I’ve gone back and forth on the issues and whatnot, but I just can’t seem to make up my mind!” Some insist that there’s very little difference between candidate A and candidate B. Others claim that they’re with A on defense and health care but are leaning toward B when it comes to the economy.

I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked. I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?

Funny though it is, the time to be concerned about shit sandwiches was four years ago. If common sense had prevailed then, perhaps we could have avoided this:

The US government was today accused of “farce” after dropping all charges against a British resident held at Guantanamo Bay…

He was accused of planning an attack that included the use of radioactive material and chemical weapons.

But Mohamed insists he admitted to plotting the dirty bomb attack only after being tortured, which included having his penis cut with a razor.

Mr Stafford Smith said: “The Bush Administration will not even admit in public that they rendered Mr Mohamed to face torture in Morocco, let alone allow him a fair trial…

The US government has been accused of using a strategy of delay to avoid having to disclose the evidence that could support the torture allegations [until after the elections].

I’m pretty sure any man would confess to whatever you want once you start slicing his tackle with a razor blade.

Truth, Justice and The American Way!